ding dong that is wrong (fourth wall event; anywhere, anytime)

[superordinary]

( SCENARIO A )

[ Some hooded guy is running around like a headless Torchic on X Speed. And by hooded I mean his hoodie is zipped all the way up and preventing him from seeing anything. What does this result in?

Naegi running into every possible object on Arceus's green Earth. That includes the street lights, brick walls, you, your Dialga and everything else. He'd pull the zipper down if he could but the powers that be makes it impossible because they don't want to give him a fucking break.

Other people can pull it down for him, thankfully. But it'll inevitably zip itself back up after a while. ]

( SCENARIO B )



[ Dun dun dun. Enter the majestic beast, Monosaring. Has your life been plagued by a lack of meaningful chase scenes accompanied by appropriate music lately? Do you think you can outrun a bear?

Now here's your chance to find out! Naegi's already running as fast as his legs can possibly carry him. ]

Comments

scenario b

[mechanizer]

[DID SOMEONE ASK FOR A COMEDY RELIEF CHARACTER?

NO?

WELL HE'S HERE ANYWAY]

GYAAAAAHHH!!

[Kazuichi has longer legs than Naegi, but he's so disoriented that his running is failing to go any faster than the shorter first-game protagonist. Either way, he is trying his HARDEST to get the hell away from that mono.... thing. Try not to run into him.]

Aw, man, just th'littler version of that stupid bear was bad enough!

[WOE IS HIM. He's also got a Magnemite floating worriedly after him, though he seems to be just as frightened of it as well. What is going on. h e l p]

[superordinary]

[ CUE NAEGI RUNNING INTO SOUDA LIKE THE BRILLIANT PERSON HE IS ]

-- Aaaaaaaaaaarghhhh?!

[mechanizer]

[KA-WHUMP]

Aaack! [HE BOWLS OVER THE POOR SAP and somersaults into a heap over him. Well that was disorienting.] Wh-what the-- Hinata?

[A brief pause, a better look--] No, you ain't him-- anyway, forget that! That Monobear thing's gonna catch up at this rate!

[SCRAMBLING TO HIS FEET]

[superordinary]

Eh? [ Who is this Hinata chap? Naegi would ask if he wasn't in a hurry to get back up on his feet before the Monosaring catches up. He has his priorities in order, okay, and he can ask stuff later. ]

We have to hide somewhere, quick!

[mechanizer]

I dunno where we are, so I ain't no help with that! [SAVE HIM OH PROTAG] You got an idea?

[superordinary]

I don't! Do you see anywhere we can hide?

[mechanizer]

[panic panic panic PANIC--]

Th-There! [He points urgently to a cottage not far off, and Magnemite hums in agreement which startles him.] Gah-- We can bust into someone's house if we got a good reason, right?!

[superordinary]

[ That sure is one conveniently located cottage. Naegi approves of this. ]

Being chased by a Monobear is a good reason! Let's go there!

[mechanizer]

Don't gotta tell me twice!

[MORE YAKETY SAX RUNNING let's hope to high heavens that they get there without being seen by the thing ohgod. KAZUICHI CAN'T GET THAT DOOR OPEN FAST ENOUGH OH CRAP

how degrading is it to cower immediately when they get inside]

[superordinary]

[ Once they're inside, Naegi quickly slams the door shut. He frantically looks around for a second before spotting a chair, which he grabs and lodges the door so it won't open. ]

Are you okay...? That was close.

[mechanizer]

Aw, man.... why does this kinda thing gotta happen... [well, he's... crying, though that seems to be a constant. WELP]

I-- I will be... What even was that kinda look on Monobear, though... An' this thing?!

[MAGNEMITE IS SO CONFUSED HE JUST WANTS TO HELP]

[superordinary]

Um, that thing is your Pokémon, I believe. I'm sure he's friendly! As for Monobear... I don't know why it looked like that, since he's usually a robot.... and that one looked more like a real bear...

[mechanizer]

Pokémon... Like those video games? [Oh..... He looks at Magnemite with more curiosity and confusion than fear, now.] I've worked on a few'a those cartridges, but I didn't think... [He watches Magnemite pull his security wrench out of his pocket using its magnets, looking a little awed.

...But then the synapses in his brain finally spark and his eyebrows furrow together in confusion again. Wait. Waitwaitwait.]

Hold on-- how d'you know about Monobear?

[superordinary]

[ ... ... ... ...

...It doesn't hit him until Souda asks exactly that. This guy shouldn't know about Monobear. Or rather, he shouldn't be asking this -- if he's seen the broadcast, he should know why Naegi knows about Monobear and he should've recognized him by now. ]

B...because I'm from Hope's Peak Academy.

[mechanizer]

Aaah? No way... That ain't right! Y'mean Monobear's been t'the school, too?

[Wait, but that means...] So he really did mess with our memories? Argh... I didn't want to believe it, but....

[...souda... you're probably not helping poor naegi's confusion.]

[superordinary]

[ Souda used confusion! It's super effective!! ]

Huh? I don't understand what you mean when you said he's messed with your memories...but he is at the school. He locked us up and forced us to kill each other...!

[mechanizer]

He did that t'us too! Er-- well, we ain't in Hope's Peak, we were taken to an island 'fore we got t'the school... but the killin' part's the same!

[Naegi's Synchronize activated! Souda is confused even though that technically doesn't work!!]

[superordinary]

[ Naegi tenses a little at that. ] So he's running not one, but two of his games...

[ And possibly more? What if everyone on the student roster were whisked off to various locations for Monobear's own amusement? ]

S-shit.